Baby J is 4 months old. You’ll hear me say “its crazy!, “goes by so fast”, “stop growing!”, often here. Its so fun to see him grow, but so very sad because everyday he is not so little anymore. Today he’s rolling over and holding his own bottle, tomorrow he’s off to college {sigh}.
Hitting the 4 month mark got me thinking. We’re long passed the ever dreaded “4th trimester”. The best yet hardest trimester – it starts when the doctors and nurses hand over your new baby and say “goodbye and good luck”…you’re on your own and you gotta keep this thing alive! 🙁 Looking back, I hardly remember the bad parts, perhaps my mind has blocked it out or perhaps the good things outweigh the bad, but I’d do it all over again tomorrow {ok, maybe not that soon}. But the sleepless nights, uncertainty and labor pains seems like a distant memory. We survived nonetheless and learned a thing or two along the way….like….
1. Maternity leave is not a vacation – I expected this time off to be full of baby giggles and free time. No. I was so so wrong. You’re working around the clock, you barely have time to shower, eat or even think about showering and eating. While its nice to get away from conference calls and PowerPoint presentations, its not a walk in the park.
2. Moms have a “mom haircut” for a reason – Long hair gets in the way. And when Jax hit about 2 months, he was more interested in grabbing fistful of my locks than any other toy he owned. ouch!
3. Coffee machine is my BFF – In the early days, coffee was the only think that kept my going. And since I could only have 1 cup while nursing, I savored every last drop.
4. Leaving the house takes an army….or just 3 hours on your own – The time it takes to prep myself and baby is ridiculous. Here’s a glimpse into the process: start with feeding baby, get baby dressed, get myself showered and dressed, its time to feed baby again, time pack up diaper bag and load car, baby needs diaper change, time to feed baby again…and by the time I’m ready to go, I’m exhausted. The cycle is never-ending. And the amount of “stuff” I feel like I need to bring is beyond explanation.
5. You never knew exhaustion like having a newborn – Getting only 2-3 hours of sleep is the toughest part of motherhood. You forget the concept of morning or night…its just one looooong day. Just like Vegas, but without the drinks and the fun. While your body and mind adjusts to little sleep and somehow keeps you sane and productive, it’s still a hard reality. There is a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique.
6. I am reminded again why I married my husband – ok here is where I brag about my husband. Everyone says you experience no love like having a child, and its so true. But what’s also subtly implied is the enhance love you feel for your partner. The support he provides during one of the hardest transitions in your life is invaluable. You’re reminded daily {maybe even hourly during the nocturnal days} why you chose this man to be part of your life forever. My hubbs is the most involved and loving Daddy I know. He volunteers to take nightshifts, take daddy-duty to give mama some “me” time every weekend, and in his limited free time he takes pictures of me for a silly little hobby called this blog. 🙂 I could go on forever…
7. Baby is boss – Your world revolves around this little being. He requires undivided attention, has strict deadlines and needs you to cater to his every whim. He is the ultimate boss.
8. Gained better perspective – The demands on your time opens up your eyes to a whole world of importance and priotization. You free your life of “clutter” and make better choices. It will undoutbly change every relationship you have. Perhaps for the better. The friends that understand the new demands on your time and stick around, are the ones you WILL make time for once the dust settles.
9. Gas and an over-tired baby is the enemy – These things are painful and uncomfortable in adults, but when they happen to a baby only months old, its torture for everyone involved.
10. I love being a mom – You’ll surprise yourself with how much pleasure and fulfillment in this thing called motherhood. I miss him when he sleeps and constantly find myself thinking of ways to make him smile. Its instant and utterly inexplicable. I really didn’t expect to completely embrace this new season of my life. I think many women feel they should fight to maintain their new roles as mothers while keeping our old selves together. But motherhood inevitably changes you, and creates a better version of yourself.
11. My home will be messy indefinitely – toys, baby gear, burp cloths…EVERYWHERE. I’ve come to terms with my living room looking like a daycare center threw up in it, and laundry lining the floors of my upstairs hallway just waiting to be folded. I’m over it.
12. More appreciating for your own mom – You don’t appreciate your mom until you become a mother yourself. I realize that my own mom is superhuman. This mother’s day, she is getting a really good gift and a big apology {for the first 18 years of my life}.
13. You learn how to figure it out – Forget all the “rules,” first three months are all about survival mode. Let you baby sleep in bed with you, give your baby a pacifier in the first week if you want, unswaddle your newborn. First time parents are given so much advice and “recommendations” that you’re always thinking you’re not doing it “right”. Really, it doesn’t matter. You figure it out. Every baby is different. Trust your instincts…I mean, you’re keeping another human being alive and healthy…so you’re doing amazing!
I think that’s all for now. Off to kiss and snuggle with my cute little man!
xo, Lydia
